Archive | June, 2012

Monday, June 25th, 2012 (A New Week)

25 Jun

With the start of a new week there remains hope for better things to come. I hope, all I can do, and wait for things to happen. I act, as I can, to make things happen. I do not know what will happen but I am hopeful that it will be good. I do not know where life will take me but I am hopeful that it shall be good. I have no pre-conceived ideas as to what this will look like though I have had ideas on what it could look like.

I know that I can use help. I need help. NO one can do anything worth doing on their own. To do anything worth doing you need others to help you along the way.


Soon I will leave to go to the library for a program that they are holding.


 If all we care about are the things that effect/ affect us then we shall miss out on so much…

Saturday June 23rd, 2012 (Hope?)

24 Jun

I have been notified that they will not be using me for one of the acting roles that I submitted to. That’s how it is, you submit and submit until you get something: like fishing.

I sent an e-mail to a production company in Florida. They responded asking for my photos and my reel. I sent back the photos and my Youtube link. I have no idea where that could go.

I will continue to submit to audition notices. I do not have an agent or a manager, so it is just me looking for what is out there. I have to use the free sites alone because I cannot afford to spend any money on the other sites. When I was in California I used LA Casting, which is how I was able to land all of the major acting gigs I have had.

It’s so hot right now. I hurt my thumb this week when I was working for this guy that I know. He does landscaping and I work for him from time to time. I have been pouring peroxide on it. It hurts at times. I hope that it gets better soon.

I wish that I knew what to do. Monday and Tuesday evening I am going to the library for events they are having for the Summer. It’s something to do.

Hope? I keep to hope that remains, like the promise of rain in a drought, I pray and pray but still no clouds in sight….

Thursday June 21st, 2012 (Another Video Submission)

21 Jun

I submitted a video audition to another short movie today.

Maybe, I will be cast in some of these roles I’ve submitted for. The only thing that I can do is submit. I know that if I do not submit I will not get the part.

In some ways I would prefer to be an actor instead of crew, but in some ways I would rather be behind-the-camera. I am open to either option.

I would love someone to write and produce something for me to act in, like a TV pilot or a short movie. I would write it myself but I have trouble writing for myself.

Sometimes, I feel so depressed. I received letters concerning part of the debt I have from being a student. I added up the different amounts and it was over $200,000. If that was all I owe and there was nothing more added to the amount I would have to pay over $500 a month to pay it off in 40 years. 40 YEARS!

My mom’s health is also on my mind….

I will continue submitting for acting and other jobs in hopes that I will do better in the future.

I need all of the prayer that I can get. My mom needs prayer as well…

Wedesday June 20th, 2012

20 Jun

I went to the book group, that I am a member of, this morning. I also submitted Youtube videos for another audition.

Maybe I am wasting my time submitting to casting notices, but as long as there is a possibility I will keep submitting.

I have also submitted to several job openings today. I keep getting a similar response from jobs that I apply for. They tell me that they are impressed by my skills and qualifications but they have decided to go with someone else…

I pray that I will have work soon.

Tuesday June 20th (Thinking…)

20 Jun

I know that it is late, or early depending upon how you look at it, but I do not feel like sleeping. I am tired but I have so much on my mind:

My mom’s cancer. Please pray for her.

I have submitted a video audition for one role and I just found out I have another project to submit a video for. Every time I audition or, in this case, submit a video I feel as though I have no chance of landing the part.

I wonder if I will be single for the rest of my life…

I have other things on my mind but those are the ones I am thinking about right now.

I hope to do the other video tomorrow.

In some way I prefer to be behind the camera, but I do like being in front of the camera. I have made more money from being in front of the camera.

Now that I have a web cam I might have a chance at acting again, who knows?

Monday June 18th, 2012 (Night)

19 Jun

I submit to job openings hopeful that one out of the many will result in a job.

What I would like to do as a job: staff writer for a major TV show. It’s strange because I have heard people say that you should go after something other than what you really want, in so many words. I have yet to go after what I really want.

If I could do what I really want to do: I would do nothing but travel. I would travel everywhere.

I know that I need to focus on my writing while continuing to submit to jobs. Maybe I will do some more videos since I have a web cam….

Monday, June 18th, 2012

18 Jun

Today has been productive. There are times when you need to remind yourself of what you have done so that you don’t get down about what you could have done. Today I submitted 2 videos for an audition, I took some new photos of myself, and I uploaded the new photos to FB and other sites.

I hope to take new photos of myself more often now that I have a web camera.

I have the ability to record an audition to Youtube and I have Skype (filmmakerjasonw). I hope that these will allow me to audition for projects and interview for jobs that I was not able to do so for before.

Monday June 18th (Post Video Audition)

18 Jun

I did it. I recorded my video audition. I recorded it twice and e-mailed both links. The videos are on Youtube but they are unlisted.

Sometimes, you just have to go for it even though you’re nervous or the task ahead of you is massive. Gain is not found without trying despite any and all odds. Success is found only when you risk failing.

Most of the time I do not try because the results are not guaranteed. I do not go after things because I have this idea that I have already failed even before attempting…

Be strong in your faith, God can make a way, be determined and pray. If you trust things can happen. Great things can happen if you trust and go forth despite the odds.

I hope to do more of this. I hope to have the faith to move forward. god has given me certain talents and skills. I need to use these things. i need to be proactive about using my gifts and talents….

We are the Body, The Church, each of us has something that we can contribute to the Body: more than giving money and sitting on a pew on Sunday morning…

June 18th, 2012 (Almost Afternoon)

18 Jun

It’s almost noon. I am somewhat nervous because I have an audition to upload a video for.

I have pursued acting off and on over the years. I gave it up some years ago, but when I was in California I began looking into acting roles again.

It started when I was working as an extra for TV shows and movies. I was an extra because I needed the money. During this time I decided I had no reason not to go after acting. I had a friend of mine take some photos of me. I used these photos on the LA Casting web site.

I submitted to everything. I was only asked to come in for an audition several times out of the many times that I submitted. I was not cast in most of these. I was fortunate to be cast in a few of the projects that I submitted to.

I know that there have been people that did not think I would ever do any sort of professional acting: in all honesty I was one of them.

When I worked on the independent film I was very nervous. I even felt myself freezing up on camera for one scene. I know I had more on my mind than the movie. I also felt isolated while filming. I felt so vulnerable. It’s strange what you can think of acting prior to actually doing it. It looks easier than it is.

Recently I have thought of myself as a behind-the-camera sort of guy. I loved acting but I wonder if anyone would actually cast me. I am not the best looking guy out there: far from it. I am not the best actor out there: again, far from it.

I am going to submit to this audition today because, if I do not, I will regret it.

I am available as an actor or a member of the crew for any project, anywhere. I do have a valid passport. I am very flexible in regards to pay as long as transport, room and board, and other expenses are covered.

I can write. I can write short projects based upon an idea. I can write for film and television. I have Final Draft.

I have many skills. I would rather focus on the skills that I do have instead of applying to jobs that require skills that I do not have.

I admit that I am nervous about making the video for the audition, but i will get it done.

June 17th (Late Night)

18 Jun

I wish that I could do so many things like getting to really know people and traveling everywhere. I would like to travel and meet new people. The best part of life is living it, and the best way to do this is to share life with others.

There’s stuff that I do not want. I don’t want advice. I do not want judgement and hate. I don’t want anything but a relationship. Relationships are the most important things we can do with our lives. We should get to know the other people we share this planet with, no matter how different they are from us, and we should do this without judging them.

I would like a career, but I also desire something more. Something that I cannot put into words because I don’t know what it is except that it’s not certain things. I can recognize what it is not but what it is… is not so clear.