Archive | September, 2012

Saturday, September 29, 2012

29 Sep

Yesterday I had lunch for free at Macaroni Grill on Harbison. The food and service was great. I applied for work at Target though I know I will not be hired since I am only able to work from 9 AM to 3 PM. I saw the movie Looper as well using a free movie voucher at Regal. It was good.

I pray for direction as to what I should be doing, but how do I recognize the answer?

I would love to find work. I need to find work so that I can get my own place to live.

It would be great to not be single anymore. I have a profile on Plenty of Fish (POF), but I don’t know what good this site is since I have yet to chat with anyone on there. I keep wondering why people lie about their age so often. So many people on POF lie about their age, and so many people I have met in person lie about their age.

I hope and pray that I am hired by SC ETV. The pay would be adequate and it’s a state job so the benefits would be adequate.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

27 Sep

When I called about the job at SC ETV I was told that the applications are being reviewed, so there is still hope.

I applied to Lizard’s Thicket. I have not heard back.

I received some coupons from Bzz Agent for Unreal Candy. I have tried almost every kind of candy bar that Unreal has. At first I was not certain if I would like them but I thought they tasted great. They also do not have all the extra stuff that most candy bars have. The peanut butter cups were my favorite. They are available at Walgreens and CVS. Go out and buy some if you have not tried Unreal candy bars.

I have been approved for a new Bzzz campaign: Smart Food Selects. I am looking forward to trying this line of snack foods.

Did I mention Unreal candy bars? They are that good. Even without coupons they a\would be worth trying at least once…

Monday, September 24, 2012

24 Sep

I have applied to be a server at Lizard’s Thicket. I have also called about the job at SC ETV, I was told that the applications have been forwarded and that the applications are being reviewed. I hope I get the job at SC ETV but the server job will be good for now.

If I am meant to get the job at Lizard’s Thicket it will happen. I filled out an application and now I wait. I mean I will keep applying to career level jobs either way, but if I get the Lizard’s Thicket job I will be able to get my own place. I would have to find an apartment I guess, one that is within walking distance to Lizard’s Thicket, but there are not many to choose from.

I have no idea who to vote for this November. I will not vote for Romney. I find it funny that he tries to justify paying a much lower percent tax rate than someone that actually works for a living. He must be hiding something since he’s unwilling to release more than 2 years worth of tax returns. I would have voted for Ron Paul, but there is NO way I’m voting for Romney. I am not an Obama supporter, but he’s the only one left to vote for. I am not fond of politicians in general.  Replace Romney with Ron Paul and I will vote Republican otherwise I’m voting for the Democrats.

It has not been easy, these past four years, I have been through so much and it’s not over yet. My life could be divided up into different phases. I wonder when this phase of my life will end…

Sunday Night, September 23, 2012

24 Sep

I received an e-mail concerning a job I submitted to, Northeast Christian, located in Kentucky. They wanted my portfolio and asked if I had any graphics experience. I sent what I have, which is not much.

The job: Marketing Director

Maybe I will get the job or maybe I won’t. I pray that I get it if it’s the job I should have. I know it would be better than being a server at Lizard’s Thicket.

I am still going to apply at Lizard’s Thicket tomorrow and call SC ETV. I don’t know what God’s plan for me is but I pray that I am obedient to that. I do need clarity on this…

Sunday, September 23, 2012

23 Sep

It was good to gather with the House Church this week after not meeting last week.

I am going to apply to be a server at Lizard’s Thicket tomorrow. I will apply to be a server. It’s not the best of jobs but I need a source of income. I will also keep calling SC ETV about the position of “Education Multimedia Producer”. I hope they hire me since it would pay well and I would have benefits.

As soon as I get a job I will consider what I need to do first.

Among my list of things to do (In no particular order):

Buy a Fiat

Buy new Mac with Master Collection Creative Suite

Buy small house

I will keep looking for a career level job if I do end up working at Lizard’s Thicket. I can always quit when I find a real job.

Most likely I find a place of my own to live first, but that depends upon if I can find something I can afford and if I can find a place I would want to live.

I have hope through this relationship with God and I shall not let anyone take that from me.It is easy to give in to despair. I will not give up.


23 Sep

I am sitting here thinking about what I should do with my life. I have no idea. I could move to another state, one that would have work for me, but how do I do that when I have no car or money. I would need so much money to pay for expenses until I find work. I could move back to California. I would move to North Hollywood close to the Red and Orange lines so that I could get around easier.

I do not like the idea of moving anywhere, especially since I have no money, and work anywhere is not guaranteed.

What do you do when you do not know what to do?

I have applied to so many job openings and still nothing. I owe so much money and I need to get my own place to live and a car.

I am not going to share how much I owe from being a student, but I will say that it is too much. I need to find a great paying job with benefits. I do not know how much I would need to make. It depends upon what the job is and where it is.

I hate being here, in this place. This place of being uncertain.

I pray for direction and clarity.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

22 Sep

What do you do when you do not know what to do? Pray? Read Scripture? Vanish into the wilderness until God reveals something to you?

I have been at a point in my life, for over 4 years, where I do not know know what to do. I have allowed people to take advantage of me and I have had moments of deep depression. Am I too honest? Am I honest enough?

When I was much younger I had this idea that God wanted me to be a Pastor, Preacher, whatever the term that was what I thought God wanted me to become. I would have done so if not for the fact that I was going to a Baptist “Church” at the time.

“Church” as in a place where people gather to be religious. The sermon’s were all about judgement, though I believe there will be judgement I do not believe that is all there is, without hope. The hope that comes from knowing that God loves us despite what we have done or where we are in life.

When we live in relationship with God, through Christ, we are a part of a family (the Church), the body, with Christ as the head. We have hope and we have so much more.

So, this hope does not mean that everything we always be perfect or that we will ever understand why anything happens. I sit and try to reason why things happen but I never get anywhere. I always end up with more questions than answers.

I hope that I could be perfect but I am not. I have too many issues to name here. Some of these issues, most of these issues, came about through bad experiences which were (mostly) brought about by trying to live on my own and not dependent upon God’s grace.

I need help but I do not know where to go to except to pray. I have prayed but maybe I have prayed the wrong prayers.

I admit that I am often wrong.

Most of the time I am alone. I have never been on a date, a real date, but I would like to go on dates. I believe that when you go on dates that you should go dutch, which is why I want to wait until I have work to date. I may not always hold the door open. I believe in equality, so I am not going to treat a woman like she’s incapable of doing something as opening a door. In some ways I am romantic or old fashioned. You can call it what you want. In most ways I am not so old fashioned.

I do not know what to do…. I pray for guidance in all areas of my life, especially what to do about my massive debt from being a student…

Friday, September 21, 2012

22 Sep

I have been applying to jobs this week with the hope that I will get one soon. It’s difficult, this waiting. I have faith but faith is not always easy. I know that I have doubts but I need to keep my focus on God. Through prayer I will move forward.

I consider what could happen next in my life and I do not know what I would want to happen. I pray that it is according to God’s will for me but I am not very good at seeing what God’s will for me is.

These past few years I have not made any close friends because of what happened before these few years. I do have trouble trusting people now especially after what happened when I allowed myself to trust someone.

Sometimes I wonder what would I do or say if I saw the person that had a hand in me coming back to South Carolina, not for a good reason, and I wonder if I would want to meet this person or not. I mean what would I say and do?

This November will be 4 years since I left California. It’s strange how the election coincides with the anniversary of my departure from California. Over these past years, since moving back here to South Carolina, I have searched for work. I have also tried to produce a TV pilot, but that did not work out. Some of the people I was working with were not as trustworthy as I thought, but I no longer speak to those people.

I do not know if I would want to move back to California. I do know that I owe so much money from being a student. I owe so much money that I would need to make so much money to pay it back.

I do not have a car or a place of my own to live. I need to figure those two things out soon for several reasons. I need to start a career, a job with benefits. Of course if God has other things in mind then that’s how it’ll be…

I do pray for clarity in all of this mess.

I do miss some of the people I once knew in California. I would like to see them again.

I would like to get a Mac with Creative Suite Master Collection and a large amount of memory. I could use it to refresh myself on those programs and to create a portfolio to send to potential employers. I would also like to replace my professional Nikon Photo gear.

I think a Fiat would be a good car to have, though I know little about cars, I like how easy it would be to park.

I pray that I will not mess up more than I have already done so…

Poly Wall Tents

21 Sep

Poly Wall Tents

Thursday, September 20, 2012

20 Sep

I went to the book group yesterday even though I was not able to read the book because there were no copies of the book available.

I also dressed up like a pirate and received a free dozen glazed donuts from Krispy Kreme yesterday.

I have applied to several job openings today. I hope to find a job soon. I have been looking for work for over 4 years with no luck. Not that I believe in luck. I am no longer going to apply to jobs that I am not qualified for since it is better to focus on those that I am qualified for. I need a job with benefits and a job that pays well.

I am open to moving if necessary. I have a valid passport.

I am going to The Kill tonight.

I should be able to get a driver’s license here (South Carolina) by taking the written test alone because that’s all I would have to do to renew my California Driver’s license. It should be very easy considering how poorly people drive here. It’s not even safe to walk here. I have people trying to hit me when I walk. People are Idiots.

I would love to move back to California. Maybe live in North Hollywood close to the Red and Orange lines. I know that it is expensive there but apartments are overpriced here.

I know that I an issue with trusting people after everything that has happened to me over these past few years. My trust has to be earned. It has to be that way after what I have been through.