Monday, April 29, 2024

Monday, April 29, 2024

Monday.

I won a Disney gift Card this morning.

I have one thing to do at 2 PM.

I do not know what I will do the rest of today or tomorrow.

Wednesday I am going somewhere early in the morning.

I need a boyfriend. I need him to hold me. I need him to wrap himself around me.

I want a first career.

I hope my life will improve soon.

I recall times before

in flashes of memory,

my history lived again and again

as seconds of time once lived by me.

I’ve had several older men suck my cock during my life. I wonder what they were thinking when they looked at me. I wonder what they were thinking while sucking my cock.

I do not want to be alone all of the time. I want a boyfriend. 

I dream of having a boyfriend.

I wonder what it will be like to have that first boyfriend.

I’ve had sex.

I’ve never had a boyfriend.

I miss having sex.

I have not been with a guy who I was attracted to since I lived in California.

People quote the Bible so they can further their own agenda. They quote things that were falsely translated by a few men with their own agenda of hate.

Being LGBTQ+ is not a sin. Loving someone is not a sin.

Is there a bingo card for sexual positions?

I’d be interested in completing a game of bingo with a cute fit guy.

https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠http://swellcast.com/jason29171⁠

Poems and Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/bFYc1kO⁠

Words, Floating: Poetry And Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/5htw2lz⁠

⁠https://jason29171.substack.com/⁠

⁠⁠http://Fjasonwhitakerwriter.com ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://medium.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

https://www.viewbug.com/member/jason29171

https://neobook.org/jason29171

⁠⁠https://www.wattpad.com/user/FJasonWhitaker⁠⁠

⁠https://publicfast.com?deal=jason71⁠

⁠⁠https://www.fjasonphoto.com/⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Z6P9332V8VAW?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

⁠⁠Another Day, Another Podcast⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://gurushots.com/jasonwhitaker29171/photos⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

video editing:

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/-zz6ZQOFQes⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sJ3MSddoSw ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://vimeo.com/240788065⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCJvaILKxZQ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWaIExlNM-Q⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/hnAKWgofsK8⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/f-jason-whitaker⁠⁠

Sunday, April 28, 2024

Sunday, April 28, 2024

I have something to do tomorrow and Wednesday.

I am considering places I could go to meet a potential boyfriend. I want a first boyfriend.

I keep thinking about what my life would be like if I had a boyfriend.

I have been exercising more recently. I plan to exercise throughout the day on most days.

I hope to have a life soon.

I stare at the ceiling, stars stuck to the ceiling,

one planet remaining hanging from a string,

at night I would watch them glow faintly.

One night years ago, 

in another room,

in another state,

I was on my bed

with him inside of me.

I recall the feeling

of his cock,

I recall the feeling of him

sliding into me.

I stare at the computer screen

thinking back to when

I was not always alone

and wish someone

to push into me.

I love the feeling of a guy sucking my cock. I like his mouth on my cock. I like it when he takes my cock into his mouth. I like the feeling when I finish while in his mouth.

A few times, I had a crush on someone older than me. Most of them were when I was a child and I had crushes on older boys. A couple of times after turning 13 I had crushes on older men.

What if people stopped telling children about religion and waited until they were 13 to begin telling them about religion? Wait until they enter adulthood to tell them about religion.

Once I was with a guy and I was so tired. It was not unusual for me to meet with a guy after spending hours talking with different guys. By the time I met with him, I was tired.

I was behind him. He was leaning across my bed. I was inside of him. I do not believe that I fell asleep but close to falling asleep.

It was not the guy. I liked the guy. He was cute and fit.

He told me to go faster.

I went faster.

I only met him once. I wish I could have met him more often. I wish that he could have become my boyfriend.

https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠http://swellcast.com/jason29171⁠

Poems and Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/bFYc1kO⁠

Words, Floating: Poetry And Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/5htw2lz⁠

⁠https://jason29171.substack.com/⁠

⁠⁠http://Fjasonwhitakerwriter.com ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://medium.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

https://www.viewbug.com/member/jason29171

https://neobook.org/jason29171

⁠⁠https://www.wattpad.com/user/FJasonWhitaker⁠⁠

⁠https://publicfast.com?deal=jason71⁠

⁠⁠https://www.fjasonphoto.com/⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Z6P9332V8VAW?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

⁠⁠Another Day, Another Podcast⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://gurushots.com/jasonwhitaker29171/photos⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

video editing:

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/-zz6ZQOFQes⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sJ3MSddoSw ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://vimeo.com/240788065⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCJvaILKxZQ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWaIExlNM-Q⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/hnAKWgofsK8⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/f-jason-whitaker⁠⁠

Saturday, April 27, 2024

Saturday, April 27, 2024

I feel tired.

I did laundry today.

I do not know what I will do tomorrow.

I will be busy on Monday and Wednesday.

I want a boyfriend. He should be between 5’2 and 5’6. He needs to be about my size. I am looking for a LTR.

I’m somewhat hopeful about my life getting better soon.

I have sucked dick a few times. I am particular about sucking cock. I will not suck a penis that smells bad or looks weird. I have to be in the mood to suck a dick.

I am versatile but I will only bottom for some. I will no longer top for anyone either. I mean anyone as in I am selective about who I top. I am more selective now than I have been in the past. I am also not interested in old men sucking my cock. 

There is so much variety when it comes to cocks. Just because I like dick doesn’t mean I want any dick. I have no interest in giant dicks. If they are so big, they will not go anywhere near any opening on my body.

I’ve heard the music, the magic in the chords

played together,

words sang together,

and the sounds hit me

like I’m feeling the same feelings

as the song is giving.

https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠http://swellcast.com/jason29171⁠

Poems and Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/bFYc1kO⁠

Words, Floating: Poetry And Photography:

⁠https://a.co/d/5htw2lz⁠

⁠https://jason29171.substack.com/⁠

⁠⁠http://Fjasonwhitakerwriter.com ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://medium.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

https://www.viewbug.com/member/jason29171

https://neobook.org/jason29171

⁠⁠https://www.wattpad.com/user/FJasonWhitaker⁠⁠

⁠https://publicfast.com?deal=jason71⁠

⁠⁠https://www.fjasonphoto.com/⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/Z6P9332V8VAW?ref_=wl_share⁠⁠

⁠⁠Another Day, Another Podcast⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jason-whitaker-6234b87⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://gurushots.com/jasonwhitaker29171/photos⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

video editing:

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/-zz6ZQOFQes⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sJ3MSddoSw ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://vimeo.com/240788065⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCJvaILKxZQ⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWaIExlNM-Q⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://youtu.be/hnAKWgofsK8⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@jason29171⁠⁠

⁠⁠https://soundcloud.com/f-jason-whitaker⁠⁠

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Sunday, July 31, 2022

I’m uncertain what to do today. I’ve finished downloading the video editing assets from Busyboxx.com

I’ve been going through the video editing assets on my external hard drive. I paid for some of them and received others for free.

I don’t apply to jobs most weekends because most jobs are posted during the week.

I’m considering writing today.

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Wednesday, July 27, 2022

I’m stuck in the feeling of doubt and it has kept me from my fullest potential.

I’m close to finishing downloading the video editing assets from Busyboxx.com.

I plan to get things done today and I plan to begin new things and I plan to revive old things.

I need to focus and establish productive routines.

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Monday, July 18, 2022

Monday, July 18, 2022

Monday, time again to begin again. Applying to jobs knowing that no one will hire me.

I’m feeling tired and depressed.

Something is arriving today.

Please sign up for my Patreon.

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Thursday, July 14, 2022

Thursday, July 14, 2022

I’m uncertain, more uncertain than a few weeks ago, uncertain about my future and uncertain if I’ll ever have a life.

I’m still searching for my first career. I was just dropped trom the one project with the social media company I work for that provided so many hours of work each week.

I want to meet someone who will become my first boyfriend and I’d like to have a group of close friends.

I would like my own home with space to do some filmmaking and photography. I would like to travel some and do some filmmaking and photography while traveling.

It’s difficult knowing that people look at me and assume that I’m not capable of anything.

Please help me by signing up for my Patreon.

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

Tuesday, July 12, 2022

I feel tired and depressed. Rejection is anticlimactic.

I want to be alone and go back to bed but I also want a boyfriend to go back to bed with.

I’ve been applying to jobs and I hope that someone hires me despite my doubts about anyone hiring me.

I went to a couple of places today.

https://patreon.com/jason29171

https://patreon.com/jason29171

Sunday, July 10, 2022

Sunday, July 10, 2022

I’m editing a song for another video. This one is for the Tongal Cinespace NASA 2022 short video competition. I have downloaded stills and video from the NASA site but I have no exact plan for the edit except listen to the music and edit for mood.

I’m not working today because I no longer have the project which I would normally work on all day today.

I’m going to work on the video which is due in 5 days.

https://patreon.com/jason29171